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He shouted at her, "You aren't so good in bed either! By mid-morning, he decided he'd better make amends and called home. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that tiny hole." The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray.
He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board.
My life sucks." The pickle says, "That's nothing compared to my life.
I'm put in vinegar and stored away for months, out of sight. I hate life." So the penis says, "What are you guys complaining about?
" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism.
Your mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense." So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
As he enters the room, he accidentally drops a perfume bottle, and his mom says, "Shit! " and she says, "Perfume." So he goes to see his dad (who is carving a chicken), and his dad cuts himself and yells, "Fuck! " and dad says "preparing." Then he follows his dad upstairs. Hang your condoms up here, my mom is upstairs rubbing shit on her face and my dad is downstairs fucking the chicken.” ― Various, “Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft.
After three years of research at a cost of in excess of 2 million Euros, the French researchers concluded that the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more pleasure during sex.
When the results of the French study were released, Australia decided to conduct their own study.
After the results were published, France decided to conduct their own study on the same subject.
They were convinced that the results of the British study were incorrect.
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They concluded that the reason the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent your hand from flying off and hitting you in the forehead.” ― Various, “A panda walks into a bar. " The woman rolls her eyes and explains, "I'm a prostitute." The panda pulls out a dictionary and looks it up: "Prostitute: Has sex for money." The panda says, "I don't have to pay you. Look it up." She is about to protest when the panda hands her the dictionary. " Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end.