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Key idea for saving your marriage: Live in today, this moment, right now – rather than worrying about the past or trying to guess the future. So every time, you feel yourself unravelling focus back down on NOW.

Enjoy the view from your window, the cup of tea that you’re drinking or that moment of peace before the kids get back from school (rather than forever being one step ahead and not really registering now). I’ve been doing this job for almost thirty years and I reckon I’ve seen over two thousand clients and I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t have set backs.

If you just fall into the same old traps or behave in the same old way, you’ll get the same old response and you know where that’s got you.

I know it’s tough because your fear is out of sight and out of mind (and if that’s the case how can you ‘work’ on your marriage).

However, underneath not all is right, for either of us.

How can we work on a marriage when we’re not together and can a trial separation help a marriage?

I’d like to turn round your question (“can a trial separation help a marriage?

”) and ask instead “will making your partner feel guilty and back down save your marriage?

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As a therapist, this is a good sign because he or she is ready to negotiate for what he or she needs – rather than accepting anything to get his or her partner back – but for the couple it can be really unsettling. If you’re reached a dead end, how can you go back and find another way round? ”, it is not only exasperating but you’re reminding them that they don’t love you or need space.

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