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Yesterday, the Oakland A’s hit Kevin Slowey about as well as Elmer Fudd can pronounce his name. Miguel Cabrera – 2-for-3 with his 27th homer and 95th RBI while batting .341, which is still twenty points off of Josh Hamilton. The first round draft pick threw eight shutout innings vs. The genital wart on that achievement is that he was drafted 8 years ago and is 30 years old. Ian Desmond – 1-for-3 with his 2nd steal in two days while hitting 2nd and .333 over the last week.

After missing last week’s start with a sore elbow, it was a great sign that he took a no-hitter into the 8th inning, only to be lifted for precautionary reasons. They should have major league scouts at Celebrity Rehab. To think what he could’ve done with a coke addiction. The only consolation for missing out on Konerko this year is the guy that drafted him uses a cheat sheet from 2004 and also drafted Manny, Hafner, Carlos Lee, Berkman and Clemens. Note to Padilla, when you’re selling your soul to the devil, ask him for an entire solid season, not just a good month or two. Inch by inch, step by step, he’s putting together a decent year.

I loved him coming into the year and I would’ve loved to strangle him at certain points this year. It’s not official yet, but it sounds like he won’t return this year.

Assuming his ‘bow is shooting straight, I’d grab him off waivers for his next start vs. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball: Psyche! The Blue Kays signed Romero to a .1 million deal through 2015. In a few years, million will look like a bargain. On the bright side, he’ll be a bargain in next year’s draft.

Mike Stanton – 2-for-4 but didn’t hit a homer in Sunday’s game for the first time in, like, a year. If he’s lying, Ryan Perry could be the handcuff, but he’s been struggling. He’s now batting fifth, hitting .275 with 14 homers. And, according to my Stuff On My Cat desk calender, we’re not in September yet. Is it me or does it feel like he has a triumphant return to the majors every other month? First start in the majors and he blows away the opposition. After the game, Precautionary Reasons said, “Don’t blame me, blame Gardenhire.” Well, whoever you believe, Slowey still had his best start of the season, which came only one start removed from his 2nd best start of the season, which came after a quality start. Omar Infante – 3-for-5, 7 for his last 12 and is batting .340 on the year. Jacoby Ellsbury – D’Ellsburied once again as he continues to rack up the Game-Missing RIBs.I guess what I’m confusingly trying to say is he’s been good over the last month aside from his last start vs. Hasn’t been all peaches and cream this year for Slowey. Back in May, I said, “I know this might be a bitter pill(sbury) to swallow, but I don’t think it’s going to be a great season for Ellsbury.” And that’s me rubbing salt in your wounds again!

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