The rules dating women roles in dating
"That is not repressive: that is called self-control and smart, effective behaviour.""We are feminists," adds Fein. We say go ahead and run a marathon and buy a condo and start a new business, just don't chase guys.It's not good or bad, it just doesn't work."Such is the crisis that constant contact has caused in our consciousness that Fein and Schneider have also created a chart in the new book that will tell you how long to wait before you text a man back (hint: the lag period increases, the older and supposedly wiser you are, and leave at least four hours before replying to man's initial text, whatever your age)."Don't text him back immediately… Never double text," they suggest."If you want more from a guy, give less."It's good advice, written in the vein of now-famous post-Rules guides Why Men Love Bitches and He's Just Not That Into You; each is predicated on creating an epiphany moment in women, when they suddenly understand what it is that men want or need from them.All told, it encouraged women to be a bit more cynical about their happily-ever- afters. When I ring them for our interview, both Fein and Schneider's phones refuse to accept my call because my number comes up as blocked.As the gurus who invented call screening, curtailing any contact that isn't face-to-face as quickly as possible, and good old-fashioned ignoring, this strikes me as particularly apt.
Right appeared in 1995 and advocated doing pretty much what your mother told you: play hard to get; keep a bit in reserve; remain mysterious.
Essentially, The New Rules deals with social media and our increased interconnectivity by ignoring it all and pretending humanity was at a comms high around the time Rapunzel was locked up in that tower Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider practice what they preach.
As authors of the dating guide that became a phenomenon – referenced in Sex and the City, and updated this year to include advice on how to date in the digital age – they achieved global fame for being women that know what men want.
Much of it makes sense – "Don't answer texts or anything else after midnight"; "Don't get wasted on dates"; "Don't relocate because of a guy" – while many chapters, such as "Don't talk too much in the first few weeks", might make the modern woman recoil.
The central premise of the Rules is that if a man likes you, he will approach you.