It may be all they were looking for in the first place.
Other important occasions for validation might be when a deep or vulnerable disclosure is being made—especially if it’s for the first time.
The help of Reconciliation During the season we spent going through the annulment process, the sacrament of Reconciliation became a place of solace for me—even though I could not receive the full benefits of the sacrament. In Reconciliation we return to an eyelash-to-eyelash position with God.
I can never write those words without tearing up—they move me so.
During the annulment process and the conversion journey into the Catholic Church we sought the help of priests we knew; the deacon assigned to help us was also a source of encouragement.
The day I walked down the beautiful church aisle to be married sacramentally in the Catholic faith I had 3 priests and a deacon waiting for me at the altar—convalidators, witnesses to God’s gracious work in our lives.
In time, you just might inspire them to let go of self-protection and risk by validating your feelings in return.
This led to a desire to live in ever greater conformity to Christ, and that is what helped me, body and soul, to walk this annulment road.
Convalidating our marriage in a post-Obergefell culture , the name the Church gives to its sacramentalizing of an existing marriage that has been performed outside of Catholic oversight, means to firm up, or, to strengthen.
But validation can make any time of communication more comforting and effective and is often a lost art in a messy marriage.
Be aware that giving validation is difficult for those who are deeply wounded, self-absorbed or self-protective.
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But it’s absolutely crucial to effective communication and to the fulfillment of our craving for connection with our mates. “I may not understand all that you’re feeling right now, but you have a right to your feelings.