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  1. At best, you broke into (or slowed to) a trot, which allowed each one of these lady predators to overtake you. You weren't hit by a pussy meteor every time you left the house. Seeing as you're a reader, ASSHOLE, I suspect you knew an honest open relationship was an option—that ethical nonmonogamy was an option—but you didn't pursue that. Maybe because you don't want to be with a woman who is free to sit on other dicks.

  2. Though the lingerie came with an Adore Me label, the item was actually made by Rene Rofe and is a knock-off of another garter dress made by Trashy Lingerie (a piece I actually own in leopard print).